An unexpected messenger

I apologize for my very long time away.
You must understand something about my nature though,
when I am struggling most in life, with a situation or circumstance
I get very, very quite. I get very, very busy. And very, very vague.

When I am in the very thickness of life, I am often unable to reach out,
explain, or pour out. I am merely muddling through the thing that I'm
trying to deal with or figure out.

So now, you see, I have been away for a reason. It's not because I have
been too busy. It's because I have intentionally created busyness to
drown out the noise of my own confusion.

My heart is wrestling with life. It is aching. My soul is burdened.

My God has not been silent in all of this though. I have just chosen
to be stand-off-ish from him. I knew he'd have something to say,
I was just afraid of what it would be. Ever feel like that? Afraid to pray or
seek because you won't like the answer that you get? I know it's
wrong. But where I was at none the less.

Now, my unexpected messenger...

As I was visiting an angel this evening, we sat beneath the stars.
The breeze whispered a gentle hello to the clear night.
The heat and stress of the day was being cooled by the
still waters that encompassed my feet.

We sat discussing Psalm 23 and all of the treasure within it.
We reflected on happiness, serving, love, and finding who we
were created to be.

My messenger wasn't aware of the secret chambers in my heart
that had been locked away for so long. But God slipped the messenger
a key. As words of truth were gently spoken, my heart began to
be set free. New revelation and a remembering of promises HE
put in motion long ago.

I am on a new journey now. To hear the call of my heart.

I long to sit in green pastures, beside still waters.
I long to hear the gentle whispers of my Jesus.
I long to feel his loving touch.

Pray for me that I hear all that He has to say to me...